dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
my shit smells like andre
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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