Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize