I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
