How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
