those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
