You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
