btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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