Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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