when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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