Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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