Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
