your room smells of hookers.
And success
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
