My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She even gives head with a lisp.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
