garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
hell yes lets make some ravioli
She said her name was "party"
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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