hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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