Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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