do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
