So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize