Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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