It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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