Sponge bath it is.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
