R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
