Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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