marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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