I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
