i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
