R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
