do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
