I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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