roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
