You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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