The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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