i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
