I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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