im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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