So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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