Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
