one might say we're banned from that church
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
