Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
