elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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