This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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