Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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