If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Randomize
