I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
