Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
