it hurts more in the daytime
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
