i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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