I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
How naked do you want me to be?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
