Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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