Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
