I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
