im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
