Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i dont even know how to be here
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
