I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize