Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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