Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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