my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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