This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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