Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
