capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Are my feet made of real feet?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
