so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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