I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Randomize
